The surgery is very close now, and the weight of the coming days can not be borne alone. I had Tomas anointed on Monday and he was also blessed with miraculous waters from Lourdes. There is a verse that keeps playing in my head,
1Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?
For so many days I could not figure out why this verse? I mean it is about immorality and keeping your body clean from sin. But it just kept rolling around in my head so I knew it was meant to show me something. Then this morning on the radio I heard today's Psalm; "Here I am Lord, I have come to do your will." It all clicked into place. Tomas is not mine, not really. I did not create him, Mike and I are only entrusted to care for him. And now in turn we must entrust the surgeons to care for him. This is the hard part, the really hard part. I want so much for it to be my will.
My will doesn't cause any pain. My will takes no chances, my will gives no power or control to anyone else.
For a few months now, we have been "cheating" and letting Tomas have a small amount of baby food by mouth when the family was eating dinner. In total less than 1/2 tsp on any given evening, just dunking the spoon in the jar a few times during our meal. Everything was going just fine and I was happy that he was still interested in eating.
Two nights ago, I put him to bed and my husband and I were talking in the kitchen and I was getting pretty emotional over the surgery. Over the monitor we heard Tomas start to fuss which quickly turned into a full blown screaming gallstone attack. Oh yeah, that is why he needs the surgery, so there is a chance he can eat normally, and there is a chance he can breathe normally.
Turning him lose tomorrow morning will take everything I have. No. More than that. It will take the entire communion of saints surrounding me and interceding for me and my son to be able to let him go.
Surgery is set for 7:30am and is 4 hours long, and will go to PICU afterwards. I will try to update as I can. Thank you all for praying for us.
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Yes. This is so true. We will make sure we pray (as always) for our little angel.
ReplyDeleteI love the verse and feel the same way! We are praying Dorathy! Todays verse of the day is a message for your family!
ReplyDeletePsalm 18:2 (NIV)
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Prayers,
Jen and Mike
have been thinking about you guys everyday even though i haven't popped by to say hello. we will be praying so very hard for little tomas. i know he will be fine. he is so healthy and strong despite the things holding him back. if you need anything, let me know.
ReplyDelete