Wednesday, October 13, 2010

God and Tomas, part one

Since I had gestational diabetes with my first two pregnancies I knew the level of care would be high during this one as well. I made the rounds with my OB and endocrinologist and got an appointment for a maternal fetal during the 4th month of the pregnancy. When I last saw my OB it was for a gyn visit and I left with a script for a mammogram and literature on osteoporosis, here I was 8 months later and pregnant! A friend of mine had also just had a baby at 36 years old and said it was the weirdest thing going through it all again on the other side of 35. She said the doctors may have well taken a giant red stamp marked "geriatric" to her folder!
Another friend, who was 38, had also just found out she was pregnant about two months before I did. She was hosting a bible study I was attending. We were thrilled to have someone to go through it with, and the other women in the bible study were so supportive. My friend paved the way for me, and impressed several key points on me along the way. When it was time for her quad screen she only agreed with the understanding that the doctors were NOT to discuss terminating the pregnancy based on the results. Sure enough her levels came back high. I remember writing her an email to reassure her, and I told her that her family would not only survive but find a way to prosper no matter whom God was knitting together for them. This was all while I was in my first trimester and had no inkling of what was to come.  Her son is a perfectly healthy two year old now, and the delight of their family.
My fourth month rolled around and it was time for the maternal fetal. I was so excitied because we could find out the sex of the baby. The day before the appointment Tropical Storm Fay blew into town. It started raining and never stopped for 78 hours. We had 52" of rain by the time it was over. Midway into the deluge I had to make a decision about whether to keep the appt. or not. The bridges to my island town were still open so I chanced it and went over to the mainland. I had to find out what I was having! My girls were with me and as the tech was getting started she asked them what they would prefer. They had talked about it beforehand of course and the running favorite was a boy, since they both already had a sister. Pretty logical right? Part way through the ultrasound the tech told us it looked like the girls were going to get their wish. Joy swept through me and I could not wait to tell my husband.  Somewhere in that visit, the doctor came in and talked about echogenic foci on the heart and combined with the increase in my quad screen results meant a 1:4 chance of a baby with Down Syndrome.
We got into the car (soaking wet from the tropical storm raging outside, of course!) and called my husband and told him the great news. I did tell him about the increase in the risk of DS but we both still liked the odds and really didn't think more of it. Well, later I did.
I always fell in love with my babies from the pink line. I knicknamed them before we knew the sex, and I loved everything about being pregnant. So, 4 months into it, I was deeply connected to the little bibble (Victoria picked his nickname) growing in there. When I thought about having a baby with DS, I had a vague idea that it would be harder to raise a child with a diability, but mostly I worried about what my husband would be like, and how he would handle it. One night in bed I saw the Blessed Mother. It was between sleep and wakefulness and most definitely not a dream. It wasn't really what I would expect a vision to be like either so I don't know what it was. But she stood there and I stood there, both in a white emptiness all around us, she above me as if on a platform. We were facing each other and she bent down and placed a bundled, blanketed baby in my arms. This baby, my son. That was the beginning of me looking for the hand of God in the life of Tomas. If you read closely you can see Him working beforehand, but I was oblivious up until that point.

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing.

    Tammy and Parker