Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Letting the darkness out

After yesterday's croup and bronchitis I was hoping to catch a break, but not so. This morning he broke out in a pinpoint rash all over his body. Every bit, started on his neck and then crept up and down until he was covered all over. By mid morning we were on our way to the pediatrician.
The doctor felt it was viral and probably the cause of the crud in his chest and airway. He agreed to leave him on the antibiotics the pulm ordered yesterday though, just in case, and to keep him from going bacterial while he fights off the virus. Since we were there he wanted to check Tomas' liver enzymes.
They were quadruple what they were just 2 weeks ago. He wanted to check with GI and then would get back to me. He sent me with a lab slip to have extra work done at tomorrow's hem/onc appt. I had activities with the girls for the rest of the day (Tomas and I hung out in the car) and we got home to find a message from the pedi that the GI doctor is concerned about the increase and wants the labs asap.
I skulked around the rest of the evening and let the heaviness of another thing gone wrong settle deep in. Now it is almost tomorrow and I am trying very hard to lift that weight and let the darkness out. One day someone will get my baby figured out. One day I will know what we are dealing with. One day I will have the upper hand and when such-and-such happens I will know that it is because of blah-blah-blah. Today is not that day though, and since God surely read my last post about giving it all over to him, and as I have no desire to be caught in a bold faced lie only 30 hours later, I have little choice.

Take this trouble from my heart. Let me offer to You the trial of this day, and fill my heart with peace. Let the knowledge that You are there be enough for me. Let Your presence guide me along the path You have written for me, and let me serve You every step of the way.
Through Christ our Lord,


  1. I can't imagine your frustration. Poor little guy (and mama). Praying answers are around the corner :)

  2. Sending peace to your heart and praying for sweet Tomas.I will never stop believing in the "one day".God won't let me.the innocent smiles of our children won't let me.Hoping for a better day for you all tomorrow.

  3. Not right to make me cry first thing in the morning.
    Hugs and prayers

  4. Holding you, little T, and all the family in prayer this morning. For the peace that passes all understanding, for joy, for trust.